can u get pink eye on your cock?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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