thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize