hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
