Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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