We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
