how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize