Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
that's an acceptable place to lick
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
