Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
