i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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