Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
do herpes really smell.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
