You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
