hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
