the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
