My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
