pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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