he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
