we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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