I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
