your parents love me but you hate me
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
