Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
