Jerry, you need to find god
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
