i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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