Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
