id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
