My friends, they love my intelligence
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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