no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize