Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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