On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
