i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
