I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize