Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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