Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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