How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
