i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Couch. On fire.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
