Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
