Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
They took my balls.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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