she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
