Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
