I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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