Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Vodka?
Forever.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
