I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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