You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
