Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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