R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
