So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I need water and some morals
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