I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
