I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
