when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
