Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
