talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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