my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize