she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
