I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
