Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Blood and glitter go together right?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
