Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
do nipples grow back?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize