so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
