so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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