I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My life is pants optional.
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