that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
