meet me or not, i'm out of control
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You may now shotgun with the bride
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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