I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
