ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
