i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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