i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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