yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
