woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize