May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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