So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
