I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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