I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The feeling are messing with the penis
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
