i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
